One of my favorite TV’s series is Reacher on Amazon Prime. Not just because lead character, Jack Reacher, is a giant butt kicking good guy with little regard for process, though that is great too, but more-so because he is a master communicator. In more ways than one. In several episodes Reacher says, “In an investigation, details matter”, and that line really stood out to me because it can be applied to so many areas of life.
In leadership, details really do matter but not in sense that every interaction needs to be drowning with details. Let’s break it down, starting with clarity.
Clarity in Conversations
Simple words and structure are not enough to convey vision, message, or intent. Why is that? Let’s look at an example of how a basic sentence can be perceived multiple ways.
I never said he took the money.
Said verbatim, the sentence seems straight forward but let’s look what happens when you emphatically say each word.
I never said he took the money.
I NEVER said he took the money.
I never SAID he took the money.
I never said HE took the money.
I never said he TOOK the money.
I never said he took THE money.
I never said he took the MONEY.
The implications of each permutation changes how and what that sentence is actually saying. It’s astonishing. Why am I brining this up when we’re talking about clarity? Because communication is delivered in multiple forms, written, spoken, and body language, and details between each medium makes a difference for recipient. Another example that we’ve all seen at one point, or another, is that infamous person that sends text messages in all caps. Why are you yelling! In both examples, it’s not what is being said but how it’s being said that makes the impact.
This is especially true for leaders as the information we’re communicating is complex, contentious, and/or bold. As human beings, we look for connections to make things simple and help us through challenging times, so it is important to be clear and concise. When team members are in chaotic times, which is natural, they crave direction and meaning behind everything. It is our job, as leaders, to provide that direction early and often to keep people informed.
It’s already challenging enough to communicate, even with the plethora of technologies at our fingertips (text, phone, email, Facebook, X, LinkedIn, etc). It’s best to keep it simple and direct, eliminating buzzwords/jargon. I find it helpful to structure conversations with the What, then the why, followed by the how.
Practical Application – Delivering Negative Feedback / Behavioral Changes
Let’s face it, there are some aspects of being a leader that are FUN and others that are...not so much. One aspect that I used to dread as a young leader was the need to deliver negative feedback or behavioral changes to my team members. It made me uncomfortable, and I would avoid it unless the world came crashing down. With some leadership training, and life experience when I became a parent, I’ve learned to deliver these messages with more grace, authenticity, and impact.
The conversation is best to start out calm and honest, so take the time to formulate your thoughts, approach, and core reasoning. Clarity is key here, so keep the feedback simple & to the point. “When you do this, this happens”. I’ve found it effective to clearly state an alternative, such as when ABC happens, do X instead. Make sure the person understands, leaving time for them to ask questions.
If problems persist, try using this behavioral transformation strategy.
Tip: I created a Behavior Transformation tool to help strengthen this muscle when I was taking a leadership course rooted in “The Leadership Challenge, by Kouzes & Posner”. Feel free to download this template/tool (no cost at all).
The first step is to identify the behavior, which must be a specific, observable, and repeatable item. When diagnosing, break the problem down into two categories, Motivation (willingness to want to do it) and Ability (Willing to do it but cannot). Then look at three levels of the behavior, is it Personal (me/I/one person) factor, is it a Social issue (group/they), or is it a Structural issue (Systems, Process, policies, tools, etc). Could be a combination of the three as well.
Once you diagnose the problem, move on to influencing the behavior. This requires a different strategy depending on the level, but for this conversation I’m going to focus on level 1, personal. If you want to see level 2 & 3, refer to the Behavior Transformational matrix for details.
For motivational issues, you want to connect with the emotion or why of the work. Tell meaningful stories, allow for a choice, or even plainly ask for a commitment to just try the alternative behavior. For Ability issues, narrow the issue down to a deliberate practice to remediate, such as training for a skill, demonstrating a technique, or partner with experts.
The key is to use these feedback sessions to improve behaviors, not just deliver negative news and write them off. As a leader, it’s our job to grow and develop our team members, starting with concise communication & feedback.
Repetition Reinforces and Builds Trust
I can’t talk about communication repetition and not immediately think of my two boys, Calvin and Will. Like[nearly] every parent on the planet, I often feel like I have to repeat myself no less than 3 million times before they finally hear, understand, and/or actually engage. The same holds true for our teams and organization, maybe not 3 million times though. Sending out communication and hoping it sticks is ineffective, and frankly, naive. Teams are made up of real people and people need repetitive communication for it to stick. In fact, research suggests that repeating information multiple times, spaced out over time, is crucial for moving it from short-term to long-term memory. A common guideline is to hear or see something 5 to 7 times. Guess my boys need extra reinforcement.
When dealing with strategies or big change, it is important to follow this repetitive framework using different modalities, channels, and settings. This helps to set a unified voice across leadership communications. Moreover, using different modalities and settings, such as 1x1’s, small groups, or lunch sessions, provides team members with different contexts that allows the scare factor to be reduced.
Regularly revisiting topics, like vision, mission, and strategy, helps to reinforce alignment. When internalized, this fosters a deeper trust and overall healthier relationship. Of course, the communication has to be firmly anchored in empathy otherwise you are just put a Ferrari body on a 1980 VW bug.
Connecting on a Human Level
At work and in life, there are almost always emotional undercurrents tugging on our stress levels. As a leader, you are most effective when you can connect with your team members on a human level. Said differently, when you openly acknowledge uncertainty and fear, it personalizes communication and helps set a common ground. Obviously, some topics are far more sensitive than others, so use your discretion as to how much or little you dive.
Empathy is also at play when engaging with your team on performance or challenges. I would be remiss to not include relationships outside of work in this as well. If your team is normally performing well and delivering results, but one period something falls off the rails, start with Why. Ask them if there is something going on. More-times than not, life is kicking someone’s butt and they are out of balance. This happens to my youngest and he doesn’t just come out and say what’s on his mind, we have to dig. This, is empathy. Finding people where they are and helping them through the tough time; be it change, challenges, or just life.
Authentic Communication Matters More Than Ever
It’s a good idea to start by leveling on what we mean by authentic communication. The most straight forward definition is honest, clear, and empathetic communication where actions match words. In the workplace, this transparency is sharing what you know, but admitting what you don’t. How you deliver the message and you respond with emotions, should align to your values. It’s impossible to fake authenticity.
I’ve commonly seen leaders, especially newer ones, fall into the misconception trap of oversharing or being unfiltered. Oversharing is doing your career a disservice. Leaders have a responsibility to be genuine and intentional, but also confidential. Authentic communication is the cornerstone of effective leadership, especially in times of change and uncertainty. Today’s workplace is shaped by rapid change and employee skepticism, so be an effective leader and provide team members with transparency not corporate spin. People expect it.
Leveraging Technology Without Losing the Human Touch
For both work and personal relationship, digital communication tools, like Slack, Teams, Zoom, Facetime, are all around us. While these platforms act as enablers and broaden our reach, it is not a replacement for real human connection. The need for this in-person connection forces you to slow down and actually live life. Not such a bad thing.
One area that I’m personally seeing technology creep into my life is with the infamous AI, ChatGPT, for writing. While I personally don’t use Chat GPT to write my content, the number of people writing articles and messages with this AI technology is massive. In fact, if you go through articles on LinkedIn you will start to see the pattern of AI written content.
Why is this bad you ask? For me, it is less about being bad and more about losing that human communication style. What is especially bothering is the depth and style that lacks from many of these messages. The point I’m trying to make is; authentic human communication requires a deeper level of connection to be real. Pumping out words makes team members (people) feel the connection is surface level. Professionally, it’s impossible to inspire or motivate teams when the foundation is missing. Do your team and yourself a favor, drop the corporate jargon and AI written messages, and start taking the time to connect, communicate, and lead authentically.
Until next time, keep learning and stay curious.
